Epiphany
I had a sudden epiphany the other day. If you find yourself doing as an adult what you used to do as a child - without being forced, or for a career, or any other reason or for any other person - it brings tremendous joy. Because as a child, you made uninhibited choices for pure pleasure, and you could get lost in that activity. I am now doing watercolors, and I like entering competitions to see how good I am compared to everyone else. As a child, I did watercolors with a child's paintbox and I also did a lot of other crafts on my own, borrowing books constantly from the library to learn/try/make different things [frequently borrowing books is another childhood habit that is very present now] and I used to enter artsy and writing competitions all the time. The thrill of waiting for the result gave me a bigger high than winning. Winning was a temporary good feeling but it never lasted as long as I would have expected. (I think that was because my work was never PERFECT. I always saw